Express yourself the way you really want to!
Neighborhood
Very neighborly
1743 days
by Ventosopher
in Neighborhood
I would like to thank my upstairs neighbor for having a heavy piece of furniture to move around every single day. I appreciate the high-to-low pitched screeching that radiates throughout my entire apartment EVERY DAY. I hope you drop one of those things on yourself and break a foot…or better yet, I hope an army of 4 year-olds moves in above you and practice baby gymnastics on your dumb old head 5 hours a day. You are an inconsiderate bastard, my friend!
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Governmental efficiency
0765 days
I think it’s ridiculous how much money is spent in NY on researching what plants to seed next to the highway…Seriously? It probably takes a few million dollars to come up with a “landscape theme”…can you imagine what money is spent on? Landscape themes! Just to understand this, 60 years ago they destroyed the forest to put up the highway and now they need to spend money on figuring out what kind of forest to replant. I guess just replanting the natural forest is too easy. No wonder the state is broke.
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Feels like winter
1794 days
I hate the cold. Hate hate hate it. I hate having to walk outside and having 35 degree hurricane force winds hit me in the face. You know the weather I’m talking about when you’re bundling up so much that you look like a hockey goalie. I envy you warm weather people you don’t know how good you have it with your pools and your never ending sunshine. F*CK! I WANNA WEAR SHORTS!!!
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How fast am I going?
2798 days
Dear highway patrol,
Thanks for wheeling in a giant orange sign that lights up every 2 seconds to remind me what the speed limit is and how fast I am going. It is extremely useful every morning when I go to work to know that I’m going 23 mph in a 55. And 24 on the way back. Thanks for the tease, a*sholes!
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Next in line
1798 days
Am I the only one pissed off with the bank and post office and their never ending lines? No matter what time of day it is you’re guaranteed to wait in line. And they tease you about it too – there’s 10 teller windows but only two people working. It’s like they’re saying yeah we CAN make this all go faster but we don’t want to. And as long as you’re standing there the 2 people they got working is 75 year old Mr. Rogers and a trainee who’s learning how to stamp checks. And you’re forced to wait an hour to do something that takes a minute…F*CK!!!
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