Express yourself the way you really want to!
Posts tagged city
Very neighborly
1843 days
I would like to thank my upstairs neighbor for having a heavy piece of furniture to move around every single day. I appreciate the high-to-low pitched screeching that radiates throughout my entire apartment EVERY DAY. I hope you drop one of those things on yourself and break a foot…or better yet, I hope an army of 4 year-olds moves in above you and practice baby gymnastics on your dumb old head 5 hours a day. You are an inconsiderate bastard, my friend!
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How fast am I going?
2898 days
Dear highway patrol,
Thanks for wheeling in a giant orange sign that lights up every 2 seconds to remind me what the speed limit is and how fast I am going. It is extremely useful every morning when I go to work to know that I’m going 23 mph in a 55. And 24 on the way back. Thanks for the tease, a*sholes!
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Next in line
1898 days
Am I the only one pissed off with the bank and post office and their never ending lines? No matter what time of day it is you’re guaranteed to wait in line. And they tease you about it too – there’s 10 teller windows but only two people working. It’s like they’re saying yeah we CAN make this all go faster but we don’t want to. And as long as you’re standing there the 2 people they got working is 75 year old Mr. Rogers and a trainee who’s learning how to stamp checks. And you’re forced to wait an hour to do something that takes a minute…F*CK!!!
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Cause I aint a holla back girl
0899 days
Why are there so many gross animals walking the streets of NY? By animals I mean MEN! Stop winking at me on the train. Now you have ruined my entire ride since ull b sitting directly in front of me for another 20 minutes. “ay mami can I holla.” No a*shole u can NOT holla! Stop making me press pause on my ipod to ask me some garbage like “Can I get to know u?” NOO I don’t talk to strangers and thx for messing up my entire morning music flow!!
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Can I borrow…
1899 days
So what the hell is it with these people that come up to you in the street and ask for a cigarette? First of all, do you have any idea how much cigarettes cost these days? Do I know you? NO. Why the hell would I give you anything? Why don’t you come up to random people and ask for a dollar? Because you’re not homeless and you got your own damn money. So go buy yourself cigarettes punk! But let’s get back to the topic at hand. BORROW? Are you borrowing the cigarette? Do you plan on returning it? Smack yourself you degenerates! Any person who walks around asking to borrow a cigarette should have their skull crushed. Immediately. And what about their twin brother, the “do you have an extra cigarette?” question. No I don’t have any extra cigarettes, you f*cking idiot! If I had any extra, I’d be standing on the corner and handing them out like santa claus! Do you have any extra f*cking teeth? I’ll trade you my “extra” cigarette if I can knock some of those “extra” teeth out of your nasty a*s mouth you f*cking hillbilly!
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