Archive for February, 2010
Elevator maintenance
Feb 25th
I hate my building elevators!!! they either stink, make people feel awkward, or just don’t work! 
And yesterday i was lucky enough to get stuck in one, without a cell phone, holding an anxious dog who couldn’t wait to go outside and sh*t!!! if you thought that wasn’t enough, i also got stuck with a mad woman from Brighton Beach. She wouldn’t shut the f**K up about herself, and in 20mins, i learned that she was married for 30yrs, that she was a nurse, and people are always parking in her spot! thank god my hubby was smart enough to call the maintenance guys, and pulled me out between the 7th and 8th floor.
Getting stuck in an elevator is no FUN! definitely did not help my phobia.
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Fluctuating gravity
Feb 24th
STUPID f*cking scale!! WTF is with it?? I get on it and it says 161lbs. Uh, what? I weighed 166 yesterday, and I KNOW I didn’t lose 5 pounds in one day. So I get on it again. Now it says 164 pounds, which seems more accurate, seeing as your weight fluctuates 1-2 pounds a day. Just to be sure, I get on it again. NOW it says 166 pounds! Third time’s the charm? Nope, this time, I’m 162…Wtf, man? I just got this thing! Surely it’s not broken already? I was in the same clothes, in the same position, each time I stepped on it.
I should just throw it out the window. Unreliable piece of crap.
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Which one’s better?
Feb 15th
Am I the only one who ever notices this?
The loudest pulsating machine gun fire farts never smell..
The quietest smallest air-escaping-slowly farts make your eyes tear and your gums bleed
WTF? Sometimes I just want you to know that it’s ME!
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Dress code
Feb 14th
LOLITA IS NOT MEANT TO BE SEXY.
Lolita, as it applies to fashion, does NOT equal “Hee-hee, I’m gonna wear mini-skirts, low cut top, tons of makeup with bows in my hair. I’m Lolita now!” Lolita is a fashion, not just oversexed little girl from what’s his face’s book.
YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE JAPANESE TO WEAR LOLITA.
Do you have to be American to wear T-shirts? NO. Why would it be any different for Lolita??
ARGH!
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Sibling rivalry…
Feb 12th
to my brother:
Just because you know some sex moves you obviously got off of the internet doesn’t mean you “know more than I do.”
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